I choose not to let my past define me.  I am in control of my future with God's help. I am not going allow people to take advantage of me.  I will say "NO".  I will not be afraid of losing out because losing is gaining.  I will be brave and courageous.   

 WORDS OF WISDOM:  MY PAST DOES NOT DEFINE ME.  MOVE ALONG....

LOW BATTERY!!!

I am absolutely low on battery.  It seems lately that I get more bad news- people dying or sick.  I feel that it just too much.  When do I/We get to breathe.  I am trying to relax as much as I can and trying to be optimistic. Just trying to exist does not work anymore. I need to motivate myself some way.  I am taking a day and sometimes a second at a time. Breathing in and out. 

I really don't have much to say maybe this week will be a better one. 

WORDS OF WISDOM: Although you may get exhausted sometimes, you can still get over it if you have people around you who give you warm words. Nayeon

 

 DRAMA- a state, situation, or series of events involving interesting or intense conflict of forces.

Some people thrive from Drama not me.   I hate drama.  It can consume you until it kills you.  It chokes you slowly taking your life away.  I avoid drama like a plaque. It makes me feel useless, hopeless and steals my joy.  I am stressed out and unhappy.  I try to runaway from it but it pursues me.  It is my cross to bear?  I don't know.  Sometimes, it feels like it is.  

I will continue to avoid all drama filled people because if I continue this way I will get sick.  Drama produces stress and anger in me so therefore I eat and continue to gain weight. This is not good for me.

I have to learn how to deal with the feelings that drama create in me.  "To let it go." It does not matter at the end of the day.  I have to learn how to put in perspective, be optimistic, act how I want to feel and know that I can only control myself.  Not to get suck up in the drama but walk away from it - LETTING IT GO!!!

WORDS OF WISDOM: “Don’t waste time on what’s not important. Don’t get sucked into the drama. Get on with it: don’t dwell on the past. Be a big person; be generous of spirit; be the person you’d admire.” Allegra Huston

DAYLIGHT SAVING TIMES

We are constantly going forward and backwards.  This past week was horrendous forget about IF.  I fell off the wagon big time.  I work in the healthcare industry and this past week was all too time consuming.  I was working over and did not have time to plan what to eat or when. I felt like a garbage disposal.

It does not help when I am stress and anxious I overeat more.  Okay tomorrow is other day and I will start over.  I will not give up.  

WORDS OF WISDOM: " Never feel guilty for starting again".  Rupi Kaur

 

FEAR

The FEAR of FAILURE is ever present. Meaning of Fear " an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or threat.

FEAR can stop you in your tracks.  What I am Afraid of? What stops me from getting on with this intermittent fasting? I know it works.  I do okay during the week Monday thru Friday and then I fail on the weekends. It's like I become paralyzed which is a form of fear. The standing still and not caring about what I eat.  It takes over.

I watch 600lbs life and I get fearful that I am going to end up like that.  I don't eat endless amount of food.  I could never eat a whole pizza by myself or eat more than one burger.  

I know I have persist with intermittent fasting maybe just maybe I will be able to accomplish it.  I have to let go of this fear and put my best foot forward.

WORDS OF WISDOM: "If you want to conquer fear, don't sit and think about it . Go out and get busy." Dale Carnegie 

 

Surviving IF

I am trying to survive here.  I did IF Monday thru Friday of this week. However, I find it difficult to follow on the weekends.   I guess it is a learning curve.   I am drinking more water so that is a plus.  Some one said that hot water may help in limiting the cravings. I will try that.

This time around I am not going to give up. I am going to stick to the course even though I fall at times.  I will rise to the occasion and keep on trying. 

WORDS OF WISDOM: “Don’t let the fear of losing be greater than the excitement of winning.” – Robert Kiyosaki  

TIME 'S UP

 

I know I have not written in about a year or so.  But I feel that time is up for me. I either get on the horse or off.  I  am overweight middle age woman and I am not getting any younger.  I need to lose weight. I realize today that if I gain  an additional 25 lbs. I will be at 300. My body can't take anymore: my knees hurt, my neck hurts, extra.  

I have tried intermittent fasting and have had some success however I am not very consistent in follow thru . So every time I lose weight I gain it all back because of my lack of follow thru.  I feel like such a failure and feel that I disappoint everyone around me.

This week especially has been such a struggle (snow). I did not feel like working this week and took 2 days off but still I struggled. I am tired of all this covid, isolation, mask wearing, etc... 

Anyway, I am going to start writing in the blog weekly regarding my weight loss efforts (intermittent fasting).  Maybe it will help me stay accountable.

Words of Wisdom: “Make time for it. Just get it done. Nobody ever got strong or got in shape by thinking about it. They did it.”. – Jim Wendler.